His pAtieNt eMbracE

waiting is never easy. and that is why patience is a virtue.

patience…

throughout the years, i have been learning the art of this virtue. and up to now, i’m still trying to get my full grasp on it.

from time to time, it slips…

but then, God constantly reminds me of things i always keep on forgetting. i know i would still be counting more difficult years to not just understand the concept, but live the virtue fully.

and God’s ultimate patience with me, His most stubborn daughter , is my prime inspiration.

it is amazing how my majestic God is able to wait so patiently for me when what He deserves is but my complete and unquestioning obedience, my total surrender, at all times.

He watches from a distance, allows me to do things as i seem accordingly. Yet closely walks beside me when major events unfold before me, whispering words of hope and wisdom and cheering me on as i battle with the world… and sometimes with myself.

His words are always true, and His plans are extraordinarily vivid. yet often times i fail to notice, i fail to hear… or pretended not to have heard, pretended not to have seen. and instead closed my eyes and turned away… focusing on my selfish desires, prioritizing things i believe are more important, justifying my wrong choices and actions with good intentions and great achievements, not realizing that i have been pressing on toward the wrong goal…

looking at myself, i see me… crying and wounded, torn to pieces by the world, and hurting with the pain i indirectly inflicted on myself.

in pain, i close my eyes. in tears, i pause for a while.

i suddenly become aware of Him. i see Him, even with eyes closed.

His eyes are filled with tears, too. He feels my pain and sees my broken spirit.

for the countless times i disobeyed and ignored His words, made promises and eventually break them… He never gave up on me. He ever-patiently waited for me to finally hear Him.

unworthy i may be, yet still slowly, He unfolded Himself to me, as my friend, my brother, my father, my master, my GOD… so that i would understand His complexly perfected Being.

His tight embrace is my comfort. His peace pacifies me. His love heals my pain. His promise is my hope. His greatness humbles me. 

Truly, i am in awe of His Majesty.