PractiCe makEs… mY aRms SQueaK

    Ahh… ahhray… 

    At last, I was able to play badminton last night. And it was great. Hay sobra ko namiss. It was fun. And soon I hope I will have the guts to play again at Flick and face the "pang-olympics" players there.

    Actually, I was laughing at myself while playing last night. At my first hit, it’s as if Celine Dione was singing at the background, "and it’s all coming back to me now…." hehe. I tried to play as how I played before. I can remember the moves, and I think the reflex was still there — well, I hope . I ran to the net for the drop shots, I ran to the back for the long shots… I ran all over the court, whew, but I was never as fast as I was before. Di ko inaabot ang shuttle! haha. Hay, the added pounds were slowing me down. Kasi naman masyado silang nawelcome, ang dami tuloy added pounds. hehe.

    After several games, I was really out of breath. And that is something I have not experienced for quite a long time. This time last year, with my gym, dancing and badminton, I was at the peak of my stamina and endurance.  And now, after 6 months of inactivity, I am soooo out of shape. Hay, I need to get back on my feet. Kaso nakakatamad.. joke joke. hehe.

    My right arm is in pain. And I feel stiffness at the right side of my neck. Ahhh… Masyado ko ata nakarir ang pagpalo. hehe. But I can endure all this, pumayat lang, haha joke. I know I just have to play again (tomorrow? hehe) to lessen this pain and be able to build that stamina back. I just have to, because I don’t like this feeling. I have to be able to fly again and soar… and to be able to run and hit the shuttle.

P.S.

Thanks to my partners, Ge and Rhodney, for my dinner last night. Kelan uli kau magpupustahan?  

His pAtieNt eMbracE

waiting is never easy. and that is why patience is a virtue.

patience…

throughout the years, i have been learning the art of this virtue. and up to now, i’m still trying to get my full grasp on it.

from time to time, it slips…

but then, God constantly reminds me of things i always keep on forgetting. i know i would still be counting more difficult years to not just understand the concept, but live the virtue fully.

and God’s ultimate patience with me, His most stubborn daughter , is my prime inspiration.

it is amazing how my majestic God is able to wait so patiently for me when what He deserves is but my complete and unquestioning obedience, my total surrender, at all times.

He watches from a distance, allows me to do things as i seem accordingly. Yet closely walks beside me when major events unfold before me, whispering words of hope and wisdom and cheering me on as i battle with the world… and sometimes with myself.

His words are always true, and His plans are extraordinarily vivid. yet often times i fail to notice, i fail to hear… or pretended not to have heard, pretended not to have seen. and instead closed my eyes and turned away… focusing on my selfish desires, prioritizing things i believe are more important, justifying my wrong choices and actions with good intentions and great achievements, not realizing that i have been pressing on toward the wrong goal…

looking at myself, i see me… crying and wounded, torn to pieces by the world, and hurting with the pain i indirectly inflicted on myself.

in pain, i close my eyes. in tears, i pause for a while.

i suddenly become aware of Him. i see Him, even with eyes closed.

His eyes are filled with tears, too. He feels my pain and sees my broken spirit.

for the countless times i disobeyed and ignored His words, made promises and eventually break them… He never gave up on me. He ever-patiently waited for me to finally hear Him.

unworthy i may be, yet still slowly, He unfolded Himself to me, as my friend, my brother, my father, my master, my GOD… so that i would understand His complexly perfected Being.

His tight embrace is my comfort. His peace pacifies me. His love heals my pain. His promise is my hope. His greatness humbles me. 

Truly, i am in awe of His Majesty. 

ate

Sisters are different.  They heard the sobbing in the darkness.

They lived through all your triumphs, all your favorites,

all your loves and losses.  They have no delusions.

They lived with you too long.

And so, when you achieve some victory, friends are delighted -

but sisters hold your hands in silence and shine with happiness.

For they know the cost.

 

Pam Brown

    This quote from Pam Brown got my attention. Maybe because I find it very real in me. If there is one role in this lifetime I take very seriously, that is being the Big sister in our family. Thinking about it, I can even say that I am better at being the Ate than being a daughter to my parents. I’m not pasaway naman. I guess I am just too stubborn at times that i tend to disobey my parents or find ways to insist on my ideas. And maybe that is why I am better as the Ate — I manipulate, I dominate, I dictate, hehe, joke lang. I guess it is in my nature to shelter, nurture and protect.  I know sometimes I overdo it that they tend to be too dependent on me… I’m working on that, don’t worry.

    Venus Williams, a famous tennis player, was quoted to have said this (on Serena): “I always like to win. But I’m the big sister. I want to make sure she has everything, even if I don’t have anything. It’s hard. I love her too much. That’s what counts. ” Well said, Venus. That’s the heart of a big sister speaking.

missing B

it has only been 2 weeks…    but it feels like 2 years. 

miss u mr. kulit.

bacK iNto the B gamE

    SPI Badminton Tournament   June  2008

    "Oh my… Patay tau jan!" 

    Don’t get me wrong. I love badminton.  I am one of those people who was still so hot about the sport even after the badminton fever had died. And I admit, I miss playing a lot. So you must wonder about my reaction to the announcement. It’s just because… June is too soon, hehe. I can’t even remember the last time I played. My seatmate (also my partner in women’s doubles) and I were talking about our need to practice together and we noted that it has really been a while for me. I stopped playing even before another friend (a badminton buddy too) got pregnant; she is now halfway her pregnancy. Yes, that loooong.

    I am not the competitive type. But I do take pride in the things I do. Looking back, the tournament last year was a grand moment for me.

Let’s say… I flew, soaring with flying colors… I took home the bacon, topped with egg and cheese at that.  Yes, we won the gold! I entered the women’s doubles with Ge (the B addict) and the mixed doubles with Rhodney (the B henyo); I took home two gold medals!  Whew, buti na lang magaling partners ko.

    Now, maybe you can understand my apprehension better. I play for the fun of the game, but it is a passion for other people. And at this point, I guess I just have to level up a little to complement my partners. So, what am I waiting for… put on the gears and get that dusty racket… practice na!

    Actually, it’s not really about winning; it’s about playing the game, knowing you played it at your best, and feeling good about it.

    Game na!